Groundhog Day

Tuesday 29 December 2020 I got the call back from the doctors, we had the same conversation as before but due to my continued sensitivity and aches, he advised that a 2 week course of antibiotics would be the best way to go, just in case there was an infection. Part of me was like yeah this is a reasonable explanation, whilst the other half of me was like ‘are you kidding my testicle is hard and lumpy, please just scan the little buggar!’. I went along with the two week course, and nothing changed at all, if anything it made me more anxious and worried about the potential issues. Ellen would regularly check on me and Id say the same every day ‘yep im fine, same as yesterday’ which for the most part was true however each day that passed, the stress and worry grew and grew with some acceptance within that there was something wrong with me. Only time Id really get upset was when El was on night shifts and I’d be alone with my thoughts, and the recurring thought that I shouldn't have was ‘you won’t be able to give el kids, and then she will move on and you’ll give her your blessing’ but a bit of music and a get over yourself and I was back on the ‘I’m fine’ horse.

The two weeks had passed and I checked straight back in on the online system with my GP and told them nothing has changed and something isn’t right. That was the 13th January 2021 and I was in the GP that day for another physical check. Groundhog Day; same cold awkward wait, wondering if I should have notified the reception, same embarrassed yet shameless trundle into the office and same persistent and thorough explanation from me ‘nothings changed since I first saw you, it’s hard and bumpy. Just doesn't feel right’ and the same response from the doctor ‘okay, hop up on there and let’s have a look’. Within seconds he says ‘yep that doesn’t feel right, what we will do is get a scan sorted for you, they’ll be in touch with you directly to organise’, although reassured I was being sent for a scan, part of me felt like shouting ’nothings changed at all since the first time you saw me!!’.

So I left confused and reassured, awaiting a call for a scan, which within a few hours, it surprisingly came and I was booked in for an ultrasound the next day. The quickest turnaround I’d experienced to date!