If I can help at least one person, then it will help me.

Days really do drag when you are waiting for a call or letter. All my calls started to drip feed through from the various departments at Addenbrookes on the Tuesday (16th March) and I was booked in for the following Tuesday (23rd March) to do different tests covering the whole day.

A hearing test and a Lung Capacity test (Spirometry) in the afternoon and then early morning to midday was a kidney function test. So we have a whole week again to wait; to worry and to watch football!

My cancer nurse also called and provided me with my start date for chemotherapy, now it was becoming real! A start date had been pencilled in for Tuesday 6th April, so three weeks to go until my 2021 received another crazy shake up!

On Wednesday 17th; once all the news had settled in my brain, I finally thought it would be the right time to update my parents and players at Boston United and let them know I wouldn’t be back to finish the season with them. I had remained in regular contact with the parents/players, sending regular emails/texts with parents and group zoom chats with the players to keep them positive and engaged through lockdowns. I could never ever imagine being a 14/15 year old lad and being in a lockdown, so I made sure I checked in regularly to make sure they were all okay. It finally hit home that the next few months at least were going to suck and be a lonely place.

On Thursday 18th March I received my chemotherapy bag from a wonderful charity that I had become aware of called ‘Balls to cancer’. They do great things not just for sufferers/families of those affected by testicular cancer but all cancers. The chemotherapy bag is just one of the many things they do and it includes lots of essentials to help get through chemotherapy such as anti sickness bands, cooling pillow, hard boiled sweets, ginger biscuits, soothing tissues etc etc.

On the Friday I felt as if my body had fully healed from the surgery, so well over a month following surgery and I was able to begin lifting light weights. I had in the previous week or two started light running again so I felt good!

The weekend finished with me handing in all my Boston united gear which certainly hit home that I won’t be playing or coaching any football for a while! Thank god I was able to keep watching else I don’t know what I had of done with myself!

Just like that; it’s Tuesday morning (23rd March) and like the habitual creature I am; it’s 7am and I’m tucking into my porridge, with a coffee and a pint of water. Today I go to Addenbrookes to get my MOT done. Hopefully to get the all clear ahead of chemotherapy, it’s a long day of waiting around unfortunately so I’m prepaying myself for the boredom. I’ve packed a book to read and I’ve got snacks to eat!

Now for the tests ahead; the easiest way to explain what a kidney function test is that they inject you with some radiation into the vein, and you return every hour for 3 hours so they can take blood from you. From this they are able to see if the radiation is being filtered out through the kidneys as expected. So basically they can see early on if your kidneys can remove the chemotherapy safely and there is no risk before chemotherapy starts.

The hearing test is pretty straight forward, put the big chunky headphones on and if you hear a noise, you press the button. Now in my case it’s second guessing whether my brain is making up these noises and eventually just pressing the button all the time!

Luckily I was able to get the hearing test done early and so I was hoping I could get the lung capacity test done early too. I headed over to the next department and told the receptionist that the hearing department brought my appointment forward due to how long I’ve been at the hospital and asked if they were able to do the same. The receptionist was rude and blunt. She just kept repeating you’re here toI early you need to go elsewhere, I repeated myself what felt like 4/5 times but she was talking to me as if I was an idiot. She also wouldn’t allow me to sit in the waiting area despite it being empty due to Covid so I had to go find somewhere to sit and pass the time by for another hour!

The lung capacity test was just like a big breathing apparatus. Best way to describe it was a machine with a scuba mask mouth piece attached. The doctor tells you to breathe in, and breathe out and keeping breathing out until they tell you stop. You do this a couple of times so they can get a good set of data from you. The doctor confirmed I had a good set of lungs on me, and that’s me knowing how bad my hay fever effects me and gets me all wheezy in the summer. My childhood asthma never truly went away.

Now all that I’ve been told is that my cancer nurses will be in touch with me soon to discuss the final bits before chemotherapy, which as far as I am aware is results from the tests I’ve just done, getting more bloods and doing the Covid tests.

It was at this point in my cancer journey that I had so many ideas running through my head and being in a good place mentally I had an idea of hopefully one day being able to put together a support group for other lads going through the testicular cancer journey. Someone to talk to and share there worries with.

At the end of the day, I stress and worry deeply because I care, not for how problems impact me but how they impact el and our families and friends. So if I can help at least one person, I know it will help me.